Anxiety Is Of The Future

My hand was shaking while staring at the text screen of my iPhone…

“I have everyone in a group message. We have to go to Denver because the doctor saw something in the lab results. We will keep everyone posted. Love U.”

My palms were damp…

I felt a rush of guilt and shame.

I started thinking about how much time I wasted here at home.

Trying to figure out my health, money, business, relationships.

My eyes were staring straight at the ground.

My droopy head couldn’t take the HUGE amount of problems.

Moping and complaining about my problems.

All of this bullshit while my sister was trying to hold herself together.

Oh…

I forgot to tell you.

My sister has twin boys. One came out healthy. The other came out with major medical issues.

I won’t get into any of the details…

The family has dealt with a handful of “not looking so good today” moments.

I felt the punch to my gut.

My hands were cold.

I had a coat pocket full of tissue to get ready for crying.

Then it hit me…

I was ONLY thinking about myself.

I was only hitting the big red “self pity” button.

I didn’t want to feel pain.

I didn’t have the courage to face my own emotions.

This was a BIG deal in my life because other people rely on me!

I had to make a shift.

Everything happens for our good.

Period.

And it takes slowing down and getting in the ring with people and emotions.

Not to hide, but to empathazie. To care. To see if from thier peoint of view.

I love my sister and her kids.

To see her so heartbroken was breaking me inside too.

But like I tell myself and her while she wept…

Give all your worries and cares to God. For He cares about you.

Simple is key. Being there for people when they need you is key.

Not money or possesions.

We are in this together.

Hope and success for your journey.